Daylight Saving Time Already? Stop the Madness!

I don’t know about you but it feels like I’ve just barely put the last of my Christmas decorations away and now we’re only a few days from the most ridiculous time of the year, Daylight Saving Time, or is it Daylight Savings Time? It's telling that we can't even agree on the vernacular. Now I’ll be honest- I never change my clocks. They’re always set to Standard Time (see? no problem) in silent protest, plus I don’t know how to change most of them, especially the one in my car. But I digress.

Let’s be clear: this Daylight Saving/s Time business is a cruel and unnecessary experiment started by an evil and maniacal prankster (this probably not true) that needs to end (true), especially in Florida. Most of us are old and not remotely in the shape or mood to spring at all, let alone forward in time. DST is an assault on all that is normal, natural, and safe for anyone over the age of 60 in the Sunshine State, which is almost everyone.  

We are already living in a place where you can cook an egg on asphalt at 10 a.m. (well not right now because they cost like 2 bucks each) and the air is feels and smells like a wet gym sock well past dinnertime. Who needs an extra hour of that?  Floridians don’t want an extra hour of daylight.  They want to eat dinner, watch Jeopardy, get ready for bed, and go to sleep… in the dark thank you very much.  

Aside from having to go to bed while the sun is still blazing or stay up until some obscene hour, like 10, we’re also tripping. No, not like that (fun times though), but quite literally tripping.  Because even if we stay up later, it somehow doesn't affect what time nature calls in the morning, which we now must navigate in pitch dark until June.

Look, Florida thrives on predictability- social security checks, dinner at five, a game of not-that-friendly pickleball, a walk around some retention pond somewhere, and a bedtime that respects our circadian rhythms. A recent TC Palm poll that is anything but official agrees. Of 395,446 votes, including several thousand by yours truly because that’s how I roll, revealed that 99.23% or 392,402 voted for leaving Standard Time alone. So, let’s stop pretending that DST is anything more than a sweaty nightmare that deprives us of reasonable bedtimes and properly lit bathroom trips.

Until we can stand united in rebellion and rage, rage against the extra hour of daylight without me having to skew unofficial polling results to put an end to the madness that is DST, I will leave my clocks as they are and, as always, be an hour late for pretty much everything until November. Now, if you’ll please excuse me, it is past my bedtime.

Yours in solidarity,

Kim Piston, Publisher

PS: I may not have clicked on the poll several thousand times but I did participate. How many times? Well that is for me to know and TCPalm to never find out.